Memorial Day Art Contest
2013 May 7 by Emily
We are pleased to announce that Aaron-Ruben-Nelson Mortuary has invited the students at Zionsville Middle School and Zionsville West Middle School to participate in an art contest in tribute to Memorial Day!
The deadline for art submissions is May 17, 2013. We will be recognizing the top three pieces with monetary gifts at a reception on May 22, 2013 in Aaron-Ruben-Nelson Mortuary, 11411 North Michigan Road. All students, families, educators, and community members are invited to join the artists in this fun event.
The art will be on display the month of June for the community to enjoy! Please stop by and enjoy the thoughtful artwork of local middle school students commemorating Memorial Day!
Click this link to read more: Memorial Day Art Competition
ARN Joins NAWBO
2013 March 21 by Jennifer Nelson Williams
Aaron Ruben Nelson is proud to announce that we’ve joined the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO). We’re looking forward to networking with other women-owned businesses in the city.
Funeral Etiquette for the 21st Century
2011 June 27 by MaxJenn
As our culture has become increasingly relaxed and even casual, many of the “rules of etiquette” have gone by the wayside. Women rarely wear hats and gloves when they go out – once a “must” – and gentlemen can often be seen sporting a golf shirt beneath a sports jacket. Ties are reserved for formal affairs and the occasional important meeting.
Nonetheless, a few etiquette rules remain when it comes to funerals.
Today dressing in black is not necessarily required for a funeral; in fact, some deceased request that no one wear black at all. However, bright colors and loud patterns can often send the wrong message to the bereaved so remember to be respectful. It is also very important to resist the urge to slip into that “little black dress” as being conservative is also a sign of respect. When in doubt subdued colors are always appropriate.
Upon learning the news of a death, always reach out to the deceased loved ones. This can be through a visit, a phone call, a card or flowers. If calling, keep the call brief and make sure to listen and focus on the survivor; also be ready to leave a short message as they may not be taking calls.
When sending a card, a personal message is always appreciated as is the simple gesture of the card itself. Sending flowers to the funeral home or survivors has become a natural reaction, but more and more families are requesting an “in lieu of flowers” donation to a favorite charity or cause. These directives are often included in the obituary, found either in the local paper or on the mortuary’s own website.
Finding the right things to say is never easy. A simple “I’m sorry for your loss” is always appropriate, but telling a story or fond memory of the deceased can be very meaningful for the family. Please avoid using the ‘it was for the best’ phrase. Despite one’s good intentions, it can be perceived as being disrespectful.
Don’t forget to sign the guest book. This is useful and even a bit comforting for the family, so they can later see who came to visit and how they knew the deceased.
Finally, turn off all electronics! A funeral is not the time or place to show off your new ringtone. Note, the buzz from the “vibration mode” does not go unnoticed. Set your phone to silent or better yet, leave it in the car.
Funerals provide a sense of closure for friends and families; it is a time to focus, show one’s support and offer a kind gesture. Remembering these things will make a difficult situation a bit easier.
Grieving Process Unique to Individual
2011 February 10 by MaxJenn
In commemorating what would have been his 100th birthday, there have been numerous articles and television segments on about Ronald Reagan. But a “sound bite” that really caught my attention was from wife Nancy Reagan, who talked about her grief.
“Everyone said it would get easier as time went on,” she said. “But I think it’s gotten worse. I miss him more.”
In our 70-plus years serving families in Central Indiana, A.R.N. Cremation realizes this is not an uncommon occurrence. If you have experienced the loss of a loved one, you may well have felt the same way. As late as last week I was chatting with a friend whose husband had passed away three years ago. “I don’t know why, but this past holiday was the most difficult yet. I found myself crying all the time.”
My friend went to a grief counselor who proclaimed these feelings very normal and part of the grieving process. And for many, realizing that grief isn’t a day or a week or a month; grief is a process that is as unique as the individual experiencing it.
You’ve probably heard about those five stages of grief:
- Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
- Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
- Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
- Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
- Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”
But even the author of these stages (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross) embraced the absolute individualism in which people mourn and grieve. She wrote in the last book before her own death, “They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.”
So, with grief you may experience all of these stages and not in any particular order; you may experience none of these stages or only two or three. Most importantly, experts urge you to first, seek support of others; do not grieve alone. Friends and family, grief support groups, your faith and grief counselors are all ways with which people can openly discuss and address their loss and their grief.
Secondly, you need to take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to grieve and feel sad; maybe journal about your feelings. Some people even find writing a letter to their departed loved one is one way to find closure.
And finally, be prepared for “grief triggers.” Things that you see or hear through the normal course of a day that may resurrect your grief – a car, a song, and many times special dates like anniversaries or birthdays. These are perfectly natural, even coming years after your loss. Embrace these moments as a time to remember your loved one and share your memories.
